S8 Ep6: Handling Public Failure: What to Do When Things Go Wrong in Front of Others

Welcome back to Your Path to Career Success — the podcast that helps you build the skills, confidence, and strategy to thrive in your career.

In this 9-minute episode, I open up about something we all face but rarely talk about — public failure. Whether it’s freezing in a boardroom, sending that dreaded reply-all, or stumbling during a presentation, these moments feel awful because they challenge not just our competence, but our identity.

🔍 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• What public failure in leadership really means — and why it feels so personal
• How to shift from toxic self-blame to healthy accountability
• Practical tools for staying grounded and credible when things go wrong
• Ways to rebuild trust and reputation without losing yourself in the process

I share real stories — including some of my own — and offer scripts, mental resets, and leadership tools you can use in the moment and after the fact. Because leadership isn’t about perfection — it’s about how we rise when things go sideways.

If you’ve ever walked away from a meeting thinking, “Well… that didn’t go well,” this episode is for you.

I hope this episode reminds you that you are more than your worst moment, and leadership isn’t about getting it right every time — it’s about showing up with courage when things don’t go as planned.

🎯 What Next?

A big thank you for tuning in to Your Path To Career Success – where your ambition meets actionable advice!
🦉 Ready to upgrade your CV or LinkedIn for leadership roles? Book a free discovery call and explore how my Unlock Your Career Potential coaching programme can support your next step.
🦉 If this episode helped you shift your mindset, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who’s ready to lead.
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🦉 Follow me on LinkedIn for even more leadership career tips and CV transformation insights.

🧰 Recommended Resources

Here are a few resources I mentioned (or were inspired by this episode) to help you deepen your reflection and resilience:

📚 Books & Articles

• "Dare to Lead" by Brené Brown – A masterclass in leading with courage, vulnerability, and integrity.
• "The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership" by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman & Kaley Warner Klemp – Brilliant for shifting out of blame and into ownership.
• "Man’s Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl – For finding power in pause and purpose during difficult moments.

📝 Tools You Can Use

• The Reset Framework
   
  1. Pause
•  
  1. Process
•  
  1. Plan
      (Great for responding to difficult moments with clarity and calm.)
•  
• “Lessons from Hard Days” Journal Prompts
  Reflect on:
  • What did I learn?
  • What surprised me about myself?
  • What would I say to a friend in my shoes?
• The Bounce-Back Bank
  Keep a folder of kind words, praise, and wins. Visit it when your inner critic gets loud.

Transcript

Hello and welcome back to Your Path To Career Success — the podcast that helps you build the skills, confidence, and strategies to thrive in your career.

I’m your host, Kathryn — fellow professional, coach, and human who’s definitely had her fair share of public fails. I’ve been the one fumbling for words in a boardroom or accidentally replying-all.

So if you've ever felt that sinking feeling when something goes wrong — and you're surrounded by witnesses — trust me, you're in the right place.

In today’s episode, we’re going to explore:

• What public failure in leadership actually means
• The difference between healthy ownership and toxic self-blame
• How to build credibility after a visible mistake
• And how to stay grounded in your values while still being effective under pressure

Before we jump in, grab your favourite beverage, find a comfy spot, and get ready to map out your leadership path with those lightbulb moments.

So, let’s get started!

🧠 Segment 1: What Public Failure Really Means (and Why It Hurts)

 Public failure is painful — not just because something went wrong, but because it threatens our professional identity. Especially in leadership roles, we’re often taught to equate success with control. So when the unexpected happens in full view, it feels like our credibility is crumbling.

But as Brené Brown says:

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up when you can't control the outcome.”

💡 A helpful reframe:
Failure isn’t proof you’re not capable — it’s proof you were brave enough to try.

Here’s the truth: People don’t lose respect when you fail — they lose respect when you deflect, deny, or throw others under the bus.

🎤 Real-life example:
I once worked with a senior leader who completely froze in a board meeting when asked a data-heavy question. They’d prepared for everything but that one curveball. Instead of fumbling through it, she said:
 
 

"That’s a great question. I don’t want to wing it — let me circle back with accurate numbers this afternoon."
 
 

She did — and people respected her more because she didn’t bluff or panic.

🚩 Quick tip:
It’s not the failure that defines you. It’s how you show up afterward.

💥 Segment 2: When It All Goes Wrong — What to Do in the Moment

You're live. You're leading. Something goes wrong.

What now?

Here’s your emergency script and mental toolkit:

🛠️ 1. Pause and Breathe.

In a flustered moment, even a 3-second pause can reset your nervous system. Inhale. Exhale. Make space between the moment and your reaction.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” – Viktor Frankl

🛠️ 2. Name it neutrally.

Use neutral, steady language to acknowledge the glitch:

• “That didn’t go as planned. Let me take a moment to reset.”
• “Let’s pause and regroup — I want to make sure I serve you well here.”

This calms both you and your audience.

🛠️ 3. Shift into solution mode.

Ask yourself — or the group — “What’s the most helpful next step right now?”
This repositions you as composed and proactive.

🛠️ 4. Invite support.

Ask for a hand if needed:
 “Can someone help me pull up the data while I gather my notes?”
It builds community and models teamwork.

🎤 Quick anecdote:
In a leadership workshop I ran, a participant’s breakout group completely misunderstood the brief. Instead of correcting them harshly, she smiled and said, “This is on me — I must not have been clear. Let’s try this another way.” The room relaxed instantly. That’s power under pressure.

 You’re in the moment. It’s happening. You’re presenting, facilitating, maybe even leading a critical call — and something goes wrong. Everyone sees it.

💬 Quote to remember:

“Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.” – Simon Sinek
 
 

Taking care of people also includes demonstrating how to lead with humility when things go wrong.

🧭 Segment 3: After the Fall – Repairing and Rebuilding

 Ok, the moment has passed. The meeting is over. The presentation’s wrapped. You’re left with that pit in your stomach.

What now?

1. Don’t rush to “fix” it emotionally.
Give yourself 12–24 hours. Take a walk. Sleep on it. Talk it out with someone outside the situation.

2. Reflect with objectivity.
Ask yourself:

·       What happened — factually?

·       What was within my control?

·       What’s one small thing I’ll do differently next time?

3. Communicate transparently (when needed).
Whether it’s a team debrief or a 1:1 follow-up, here’s a simple script:
"Thanks for bearing with me yesterday. I’ve taken time to reflect and wanted to share what I learned and what’s next."

🎤 Real-life example:
Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft, once responded to a public mishap in his early days with, "I was wrong. I’ve reflected. I’ve learned.” His transparency helped reframe the moment and humanised his leadership.

That single sentence was repeated across tech forums — not as a blunder, but as a masterclass in humility.

“To err is human — to own it is leadership.”

🌐 Segment 4: The Politics of Public Perception — Without Losing Yourself

 Let’s go a layer deeper here. Especially in leadership, public failure doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It plays into organisational politics, perceptions, and power dynamics.

So, how do you manage that part without selling your soul?

1. Focus on healthy influence, not damage control.
Ask: “What relationships do I need to strengthen after this moment?”
This could mean looping in a stakeholder with a personal update, or having a one-to-one to explain your perspective.

2. Build alliances, not alibis.
It’s tempting to defend yourself or explain away the issue to every person in earshot — but what matters is connection, not justification.

3. Stay grounded in your values.
Own your part, stay professional, and trust your long-term consistency will speak louder than one bad day.

💬 Quote:

“Reputation is what others think of you; character is what you know about yourself.” – Lois McMaster Bujold

Let your character lead the recovery — your reputation will catch up.

🛠️ Segment 5: Practical Tools for Future You

To future-proof your confidence, here are some tools to keep in your leadership toolkit:

✅ The Reset Framework

1. Pause – Stay present.
2. Process – Reflect privately.
3. Plan – Respond thoughtfully.

✅ Bounce-Back Bank

Create a folder of:

• Compliments you’ve received
• Emails of praise
• Past wins

Revisit it when doubt creeps in. Remind yourself: this one moment doesn’t define your worth.

✅ “Lessons from Hard Days” Journal

Use prompts like:

• What did I learn?
• Who supported me?
• What surprised me about myself?

Over time, this becomes a powerful record of growth and grit.

Bonus tip:
If you’re mentoring others, share your stumbles. It normalises imperfection and builds trust.

“People admire your strengths, but they connect with your vulnerability.”

🧩 Segment 6: Remember This…

 If there’s one thing I want you to take away from today’s episode, it’s this:

Public failure is not the end. It’s often the beginning of deeper leadership, real confidence, and the kind of growth that no textbook can teach.

Let the moment stretch you — not define you.

Let it soften your edges, not harden your heart.

Because the leaders who rise?
 
 

They don’t rise by avoiding failure.
 
 

They rise by showing us how to walk through it with grace.

🎧 Closing

 Thanks so much for joining me on today’s episode of Your Path to Career Success. If something resonated with you — maybe you’ve recently had a public stumble or you’re still carrying one from years ago — I hope this gave you tools, perspective, and maybe even a little peace.

📣 If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to follow, rate, and review the show. It really helps it reach others on their path to career success. 

👥 And if you know a colleague, mentor, or rising leader who needs to hear this?
Share it with them — it might be just the boost they need.

And if you’re navigating a leadership challenge and you’d like to work with me directly or continue the conversation, come connect with me on LinkedIn or visit www.thecareerowl.co.uk for more content like this — behind-the-scenes, tips, and weekly wisdom.

Until next time — take care of yourself, stay grounded, and remember: you are more than your worst moment.